Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon

The Transformers films are kind of a guilty pleasure for me. Yes it is widely accepted that they'll all atrocious pieces of filmmaking and yes the movies treat you like some stupid Teenager by just throwing in pretty girls, countless explosions and Optimus Prime kicking ass....And yet somehow these three films have managed to gross more than 2.9 Billion dollars altogether (and counting), and thats some SERIOUS dough! This doesn't just indicate that people are flocking to see it, that kind of money means that they're seeing it repeatedly in the cinema! Why? Because its event cinema. People go and see a Michael Bay film to be wowed by a constant barrage of nonsensical spectacle. Story, pacing, character development you name it all gets chucked out of the window and replaced with a barrage of non-stop action. It might as well just say 'AMERICA, F*CK YEAH!' during the end credits! If the filmakers intent was just to make you go 'WOW!' then he sure accomplished that in my Books. You could argue that it's the same effect as dangling a bunch of shiny keys in front of your face!

There's supposed to be a Story in this movie? I thought it was just a bunch of Robots kicking the crap out of each other for two and a half hours! Okay to be fair to the film it did atleast 'try' this time, but it all falls flat on its face after the first five minutes. It was something about finding something on the moon, Optimus Prime going mad with anger about something (boy is he pissed off in this movie!), flashes of this blonde chick, Shia La Boeuf's character Sam trying to get a job....Oh hell if I know! Lets just get to the EXPLOSIONS! Yeeeah! Now that's what I'm talking about. 

Now credit were credit's due, the action in this movie was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. Simply superb. Best action sequences of all time, in fact. I swear to god, if you jump into this movie an hour late, you'll have some of the best movie experiences in your entire life. Seriously, if you skip all that weird comedy at the start, BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!! Or at least from my point of view. Optimus Prime kicks ass about a MILLION times in this movie. He takes on a Robot that can topple skyscrapers, like SEVERAL Robots at once and beats Megatron AND Sentinel Prime all at once! And by the way, Shockwave (I think its Shockwave) when he topples a skyscraper with all the main characters in it, thats some sweeeet visuals man. The saying  'Bang for your Buck' rings so true for these movies. To sum it all up, it was like taking the testosterone of fifty million men and trying to cram it all into one movie. There is simply no more things for Bay to blow up by the end of the flick. The Special effects were simply gorgeous, every Robot looked like something off AVATAR for crying out loud! If you like these sort of movies you can't get any better than this.     

While the action may be unparalleled in my honest opinion, the comedy in this movie is simply atrocious, cringe-worthy at times in fact, the plot is barely there, NO acting or character development WHATSOEVER and yet still this movie managed to entertain me quite a fair bit. I suppose you could argue that it made me laugh, but it made me laugh for ALL the wrong reasons. And the tonal shift is quite jarring as welI. One of the Robot's gets killed in this movie, and before we have enough time to get our hankerchiefs out it IMMEDIENTLY switches to a scene where these two Robot's with stereotypical accents are acting goofy for NO REASON. It's like it wants to be a kids film but the amount of carnage and death that is wrought on the city of Chicargo is enough to make anyone cry. Simply put, I don't really get what the movie is going for. 

It gets an 'Okay' rating just because the action, special effects and cinematography were simply the best I've ever seen in a movie. This out-AVATAR's AVATAR quite frankly, that's how good the sfx are for this movie. So purely from a visual standpoint, I loved it. Under NO circumstances should people who hate these kinda movies see it though, everything about this movie is god awful apart from the visuals!