My Predictions For Game Of Thrones Season 5

For the uninitiated Game Of Thrones is sans-hyperbole the greatest TV show on earth. Every year we get treated to 10 movie quality episodes of pure awesomeness,  packed with spectacular visual effects, a grade A cast that was clearly picked from the top of the pile and all of the intrigue, political back stabbings, sex and gore you could want in a TV show. To put it bluntly there’s nothing even remotely close to its scale or budget on television right now....and now it's late March, so you know what that means? OMG NEW SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES IS ON THE WAY! While I was a late bloomer and only started seriously watching the show when the fourth season hit (I binge watched seasons 1-3 over the course of a week) me and many other people all over the world had to endure the excruciatingly long 10 month wait in full before we could hear that sweet, sweet theme playing on our TV's again. We're not quite there yet but in just two more weeks we'll finally be able to get our Thrones fix. To help ease the pain I've composed a list of everything I expect will happen in the new season, mostly for my self-enjoyment but also to shout I TOLD YOU SO when all of these wind up becoming true: 

1) Theon is finally going to break free from Ramsay:

After two seasons of enduring both physical and mental torture I think it's finally time for Theon to grow a backbone and get the hell away from the Boltons. I mean what else can you do with him at this point? The guy is broken at this point and once you've had your dick chopped off there's no way it can possibly get worse for a man. He's basically the writer's punching bag. I think we're all a bit tired of it at this point as there's only so much torturing we can endure before it feels exploitative, not to mention it makes narrative sense for him to come to senses and either escape and/or turn on Ramsay at some point. I mean why are we following this character if he's just going to remain Ramsay's b*tch? What purpose does he serve to the overall story? Theon is going to snap at some point this season and grow a pair of balls for once (lol). Well...unless they somehow come up with new ways for Ramsay Snow to f*ck with him for another 10 episodes. 

2) Say goodbye to a bunch of supporting characters:

This is a given for pretty much any season but I'm going to place my bets: Jorah, Brienne and Bronn. I think all three of them have run out of places to go. Bronn is a badass, silver tongued rogue who will either marry the princess he was going on about to Tyrion last season or perish saving Jaime (SPOILERS: Bronn and Jaime are going to Dorne to get Myrcella Baratheon). He's a fun character but aside from Jerome Flynn's scene stealing portrayal where else could we go with Bronn after season 5? Then we have Ser Jorah, Daenerys friend zoned adviser who was exiled at the end of season 4. Again an idiot can figure out this goes only two ways: he either a) gets back with Daenerys and they fall in love or b) dies heroically saving her, 'redeeming' himself for spying on her back in season 1. Considering Dany has already made it pretty clear that she's royally pissed off with him I don't see option a) happening any time soon, plus she's already got generic good looking guy number #84 to hook up with. With all that in mind Jorah is pretty much confirmed to die this season. Unless he hooks up with Tyrion...now that would be badass. As for Brienne what else do we do with her? She's a walking tank with a duty to fufill but unless she hooks up with Sansa or goes on the hunt for Arya (again) there's no reason to keep her or Podrick around. Overall I can see the show culling a lot of supporting characters that in the grand scheme of things don't add much to overall conflict of the show. The cast is like 200 strong at this point and with Dorne being introduced someone has got to hit the chopping block this season. Also don't count on the books as a guide, executive producers Benioff and Weiss have warned us that they'll be killing characters off this season that (as of now) aren't dead yet in the books. 

This isn't looking good...

3) Sh*ts going down in Meereen:

The trailers so far have been putting a lot of emphasis on a big conflict in Meereen, so I think it's safe to say things won't be going rosy for Dany in Essos. Considering the film-worthy shot of the golden statue being dragged down the temple (something I can't see Dany doing) a war between the slave masters and Daenerys army seems inevitable. Although I wonder who the people in the golden masks are? We see a brief shot of them in the trailer cornering Daenerys, Jorah, Missandei, Greyworm and generic good looking guy No #84 in the middle of a gladiator pit. What possible motive could these guys have? Either way I see episode 9 being a BIG battle in Meereen, possibly ending in Daenerys leaving Meereen behind. The gladiator pit scene would also make for a great send-off for Jorah, holding back the fighters while Daenerys escapes maybe? Oh, and there's NO WAY those dragons are going to be locked up for long. Meereen is going to be a big steaming mess at the end of the season, I guarantee it. 

4) Tyrion and Daenerys are going to team up:

The trailers have been teasing this pretty hard so I'd be surprised if this didn't actually happen. For a long time now the characters on the show have been drifting further and further away from each other, but Tyrion going to Essos means a collision course with Daenerys is inevitable and could perhaps signal the start of characters converging on each other again. I mean why else would he go to Essos? We've been waiting a long time now for Daenerys to get into contact with someone from Westeros as she sometimes feels separate from the rest of the goings on, but with Tyrion? This is perfect. It'll be one hell of a team up, basically putting two of the shows flagship characters together in the same place. The best moments of the show is when they pair-up opposing characters with one another and watch the sparks fly (Brienne and Podrick, pretty much anyone with Arya, Jon and Stannis...) so this is the thing I'm most excited for as the potential is enormous. I can literally hear millions of fans (myself included) squeeing in delight the second this happens. As for how she'll react to Tyrion, I'm guessing they'll become instant best mates. Tyrion is a charming guy and there is a vacant adviser spot left by Jorah. Tyrion and Daenerys taking on the rest of Westeros? F*CK YEAH GO TEAM DANY! 

Somebody is going over to the dark side of the force...

5) Sansa's going on a revenge killstreak:

When a character starts wearing black you know they mean business. All signs point to Sansa hardening this season and going all 'dark sansa' on the people who wronged the Starks. Think of her as being Arya mark II, just being less stabby stabby and more persuading Littlefinger with her womanly wiles to f*ck guys over. This is of course what we all wanted to see, it's just a shame we've had to wait until season 5 to finally see it. If I were to take a guess as to her plans I expect she'll end up meeting the Bolton's (there's a shot of her in the Winterfell crypts in the trailer, and we know that's where the Boltons are going) and coming into contact with Theon, possibly persuading him to come to his senses. 

6) The Tyrells claim all the power:

Poor Lannisters. In season 4 they basically imploded on themselves and without Tywin Lannister on their side I think the days of them ruling over the Seven Kingdoms is over. Meanwhile the Tyrells have been quietly plotting away since season 2 and they're the clear victor after successfully plotting Joffrey's death (with the bonus knock-off effect of Tywin hitting the bucket later down the road) and now Cersei is the only one standing in their way to prevent them from total ownership over the crown. We know Tommen will be marrying Margaery this season so no matter how much Cersei disapproves the Tyrells are slowly grasping the crown through Margaery's influence on the king. The next step would be to obviously take out Cersei but I have a feeling she'll do that for them, if not out of her own stupidity then through her ties with Jaime. Sudden shifts of power is another one of the most satisfying things about the show (it's all part of the intrigue), and I think we're about to see another one as far the Tyrells are concerned. Unless Stannis gets in on the act of course, but it's far to early for that to happen again.

What happened to these guys again? This was like three seasons ago!

7) More White Walkers!

Considering we see them at least once every season this isn't much of a stretch but everytime they show up we get to see and know more about them. After five years of build-up I think it's finally time to see the Ice zombies take up the offensive or at least attack SOMETHING to keep their presence known. Maybe we'll see them attacking the wall or a wilding settlement? With a wilding army under his command Stannis could potentially be the one to seek them out but that seems way too risky and a bit premature considering we're only on the fifth season. This show's endgame is definitely going to involve the White Walkers in some form or another but the longer it goes on the less important these guys appear. The show has to acknowledge this massive zombie army sooner or later and I think season 5 is where the sh*t might start hitting the fan up in the north. 

8) Stannis is taking on the Freys/Boltons:

With Stannis in control of the Wall and the Wildlings under his command there's nowhere to go but down and that means running into the Boltons. Considering the Boltons are allied with the Lannisters I don't see them letting Stannis pass through so conflict is inevitable. Hmm...Stannis the Mannis vs Ramsay  'dick chopper' Snow? That would be an epic fight. There's no way we're making it through season 5 without this at least being elaborated on, the Boltons are going to find out about Stannis talking control of the wall and they won't be happy about it. Question is: will Stannis choose to focus his efforts on stopping the White Walkers or will he just go back to conquering? I imagine it'll be Jon's job to deal with those icy bastards leaving Stannis room to take the north. If seasons 3 and 4 were about him plotting his comeback then season 5 is ideally were we start to see him actually do stuff other than participating in satanic rituals and appealing to a loan from a bank. 

9) Dorne is going to become a major player:

Another emphasis this year is on Dorne ruled by the Martells, Oberyns family. The Martells have so far barely been touched upon but they must be pissed with Oberyns death so expect that to change. From my understanding they're a fairy big player in the seven kingdoms so pissing them off is NOT a good idea. The Martells have also got Mrycella Baratheon which is considerable leverage against Cersei. This seems to be why Cersei is sending Jaime and Bronn to Dorne, to get their daughter back and cease any control the Martells have over her. Also if Oberyn is any indication, these guys are badasses AND they're very quick to form grudges. So watch out kings landing, the Martells are on your ass and they're thirsty for blood. Mark my words they're going to do something vicious and I wouldn't want to be a Lannister when that happens. 

Who will it be this time? 

10) You know who will get stabbed.....a lot:

I was already spoiled on this and it's EXTREMELY likely this particular event will occur towards the end of season, possibly a cliffhanger at the end of episode 10. It's one of the last 'big' moments left from the books that we now about (we run out of books after this point) so they'd be crazy not to include it. So yeah, this isn't so much a prediction as a certainty. I for one cannot wait to see fan outcry online afterwards, like all great Thrones' deaths you'll never see this one coming and further solidifies that none of the characters on this show are safe. Valar Morghulis mutherf*ckers. 

While a lot of these are obvious based on stuff we know from the trailer and foreknowledge from the books keep this in mind: unlike other seasons of the show season 5 seems be going severely of course based on what we know from the books (not to mention several murmurings on WTF? going around on the web from book readers). A lot of these changes have presumably been made to streamline the fat wad of pages in books 4 and 5 that ultimately have no impact on the major plot lines and thus keep the focus on the primary characters that we all know and love. This coupled with the fact that a lot of the character's have caught up with their book counterparts early or gone wildly off point basically means that anything is fair game at this point, which is super exciting as a Thrones fan because for once we have no idea  what's coming. Buckle up guys, the wait is almost over.