Game Of Thrones: Kill The Boy

'Kill The Boy' was an interesting Thrones episode. Instead of speeding things up from Eps 3 and 4 which got the ball rolling they decided to apply the brakes this week and focus on only a few of the players for some good old fashioned character development. You could argue that nothing happened, but there's something so damn compelling about seeing these characters interact with one another that I found myself hardly noticing: 

- I have bad news: we're now halfway through the season and I'm starting to wonder whether any 'big' stuff is going to happen before we wrap up and say goodbye to Westeros for another year. Which isn't to say 'Kill The Boy' was bad, far from it in fact, but with the exception of Stannis, Daenerys and Jon's storylines (pretty much everyone featured in this episode) the rest of the segments feel like they're moving so slowly into place. Five episodes left and Jaime still hasn't got into Dorne, Tyrion still hasn't met Dany, Brienne is still looking for SOME KIND of cause to put her loyalty into, Cersei is somehow still alive and Arya has barely been seen. That's a lot of stuff left unresolved, I hope they can deliver. Rushing things admittedly won't help, but I'm selfish, I don't want to wait another year.

- I honestly thought Danaerys was going off the deep end when she was straight up murdering potentially innocent people so she can satisfy her blood lust. Worried about giving her dragons indigestion, she was pretty much like 'This was fun, let's do this tomorrow!' at the end! Sure Barristan's death hit her hard (I think we all miss the old man), but this just hasn't been her style. The show is no doubt trying to echo her link to the infamous mad king, reminding us that she's one step away from burning everyone to death with her Dragons. Up until this episode I refused to believe she would turn crazy, now I'm not so sure. The idea of a genuinely good person trying to rule fairly but be punished for being fair in an unfair world and eventually going crazy because of it is a very Game Of Thrones thing to do, once again upturning the idea of the cliché fantasy chosen one that it so hastily dismantled with the Starks. Consider me worried. 

- Yeah, you feed those Dragons human's Danaerys, I'm sure that will work out. It's not like they have the taste for human flesh or anything...wait wasn't this the reason why she locked her pets up in the first place? So she could PREVENT them from killing and eating humans? Not so righteous now, are you Danaerys? 

- Thankfully after a sweet conversation with Greyworm Missandei convinces Dany to find another way, making her do a complete 180. Hizdahr 'f*ck typing that name' zo Loraq is a day away from being dragon food before suddenly becoming the luckiest man alive as Dany announces that she's going to reopen the fighting pits (what he wanted) and...marry him! Dany's decision making here felt incredibly abrupt, marriage for her obviously isn't that big a deal. I guess she could always institutionalize divorce if things don't go so well. Regardless of how rushed it was she's now finally agreeing to compromise, so she's on the right path. It took a lot of death to get her to this point though.

This is going to go well...

- We're getting a lot of movement at the Wall this week, as both Stannis and Jon are departing after spending half a season deciding what to do next. Some good counseling from Maester Aemon to 'Kill The Boy' results in Jon successfully managing to persuade Tormund (the big red haired dude you most certainly DO NOT WANT TO PISS OFF!) into allying with him to save a bunch of Wildings stranded outside the Wall. It makes you wonder why Jon didn't offer this argument to Mance Raydner before he burned, even if he wasn't Lord Commander yet it might have convinced Mance not to give up his life yet. It certainly seemed to convince Tormund, who is one hell of a scary man. Either way Jon's decision is extremely unpopular with the members of the Night's Watch, even Jon's squire (who killed Ygritte remember) is horrified. I've been patiently waiting for Ygritte's death to come up, maybe as a counterpoint used by Jon to proclame his forgiveness as a way of gaining the Watch's support. I'll be damned if this doesn't come up, why else would they still keep that Ygritte murdering kid around?

- Considering Jon's penchant of getting into fights and various eye popping clips from the trailers, I'm guessing this mission to 'Hardhome' won't go so well. Let's hope it's the White Walkers who attack and not the Wildlings this time. It's been five seasons, we're desperate for some zombie action! 

- Speaking of White Walkers, Stannis 'father of the year' Baratheon continues to be awesome this week by proving that's he's the only major player who's smart enough to give a f*ck about the White Walkers. His short scene with Sam had everyone crying 'YES!!!!! SOMEBODY GETS IT!' as he now knows the White Walkers achilles heel: dragon glass. He seems to have got a lot of it back at his castle, so I don't see the White Walkers being a threat with Stannis in power. Stannis the Mannis then departs (daughter and bitch wife in tow) to Winterfell with his massive army looking to f*ck the Bolton's sh*t up. While Stannis' sudden popularity could be an indicator of his upcoming death the show seems to be biggening up both sides of the conflict, it could be anyone's game at this point. With uncle Davos and crazy Aunt Mel on his side (they're like a dysfunctional family at this point) Stannis will be a tough opponent to beat. 

- It's unclear to me where the vast 100 000 strong Wilding army went at the end of season 4 when Stannis attacked (let alone where his army is being kept!). Did they flee? Are they still camping outside of the Wall? Or are they behind it? The show has been dreadfully unclear on this matter, probably because they're unwilling to animate an army of 100 000 men each week. Still, a simple line of dialogue could have cleared things up. Maybe we're about to get to that with Jon?

Meet your new Tywin and Joffrey, man, and you thought those two were evil? 

- Sansa and the Bolton's were afforded a lot of precious time this week. Once again we end on the 'It's time to go to war note' as Roose convinces Ramsay that his sadistic nature doesn't lend itself well to future planning, partly because he could be expendable with a new heir on the way but mainly because Stannis the Mannis is coming and they had better get their sh*t in order. This segment was aimed at you getting to hate the Bolton's as villains again, with heavy emphasis on Roose and Ramsay. Right now they are the show's only remaining villains (aside from the Freys, although I suspect we will be seeing more of them soon) and in preparation for the future battle we're getting several 'I'M EVIL!' scenes with them. Roose's story of how Ramsay came to be is comically evil, if it wasn't so weirdly touching. 'The second I laid eyes upon you I knew you were my son'. Awwww, isn't that sweet, in a f*cked up kinda way. Ramsay also has a sub-plot with his pre-Sansa girlfriend, their relationship isn't healthy in the slightest. This girl is clearly going to pull a move at some point, I'm surprised she hasn't stabbed Sansa in the back yet. 

- Boltons vs Stannis FIGHT! Unlike other Thrones battles the odds are against the bad guys on this one, makes you wonder if Ramsay might pull of an extremely dirty trick to succeed. It's certainly not past the Bolton's, considering the antics they pulled at the Red Wedding. Stannis' honor bound code could be the death of him when faced with the schemey 'I f*cked a wife next to her hanged husband' Boltons. And if the Bolton's lose the show would be lacking a good set of villains, so maybe that's a reason to still keep them in play. Whatever the outcome I hope we see the results this season, although the end of the season is looking very overcrowded at the moment. 

- Sansa continues to be a wet blanket unfortunately, refusing to deliver on the promise of 'Dark Sansa' we were so pumped for at the end of last season. She does get some development though, finally encountering what's left of Theon in the dog kennels. It's difficult to ascertain her feelings about Reek, does she forgive him or simply revile him? Time will tell I guess, I wonder if her wedding with Ramsay is still coming up?  

The bromance is strong with these ones. 

- Brienne gets another short scene this week, I continue to have no idea where her character is going. She's obviously trying to rescue Sansa but how she will get around to that is confusing, maybe during the heat of battle? Brienne is basically looking for a good cause to sink her loyalty into, which is ironically Stannis at this point but it looks like we're going to have to settle with Sansa. Clips from trailers have showed her in a snowy environment this season, which implies she ends up at the Wall at some point. Again, no idea where this is going. I like Podrick though, so that's something.

- My reaction to Tyrions segment this week: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ser Davos and Jorah are some of my favorite characters on the show, to see one of them inflicted with a fatal disease is quite frankly heartbreaking. YOU BASTARDS! Just when he was getting along so well with Tyrion.....maybe they can just cut his hand off Walking Dead style? This was a major curve ball, especially occurring so soon after Barristan's death. Considering how slow the disease is he will most likely get to see Dany again before going out in a trailblaze of glory. This would be a sad but satisfying end to his character, unless he somehow gets cured and woos Dany back to his side. Unfortunately, this is not a romantic comedy.

- Pre-death mourning aside (let's face it, he's a goner, this show doesn't do cop outs) the scene before it was incredibly well done. We had a lot of great lore building in the SFX shot's of Old Valyria, a haunting bromance poem between Tyrion and Jorah AND an incredibly intense fight with the Stone Men, what's not to love? We also saw a bit more of Drogon, who seems to playing an ominous role this season as the bearer of bad news (he appeared just before the Harpy's attacked remember). After a lot of hints over at the Wall the inclusion of the stone men felt very natural and not at all in a 'we need bad guys here' kind of way, so I applaud them for the foreshadowing. On the bright side at least we know ahead of time when a character is going to die for once, by Thrones standards that's practically merciful. I declare we should savor every moment with Jorah we have left. 

- No Kings Landing this week? Huh, is that a first outside of the Wall episode? 

- No Jaime/Bronn either. BOOOOOOO! 

- I'm sorry, I just can't get over it: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! R.I.P Lord Friendzone, the unluckiest guy in Westeros. 

That's everything I've got for this week. Concentrating on just four segments may have slowed down the pacing but was invaluable when it came to putting the big pieces in place for (hopefully) the second half of the season. Ultimately it was a necessary building block, and this show never once gets close to boring. GOT Ranking: 8/10.